Kenny and Devin Carr mapped out a grand vision for their future.
The Spotsylvania County couple, who grew up in Mississippi, planned to remain in the New Post on the Rappahannock subdivision until their two children graduated high school. Then, they’d return to their southern roots.
“We were going to buy something small because it was just going to be us,” Devin Carr said. “Our kids are seven months apart. One came early and one came late, meaning they are going to graduate together. So, we were like, ‘We don’t want to be in this big ol’ house by ourselves.’”
The family purchased a six-bedroom home on Spotswood Drive in 2021. Three years after that joyous occasion, their lives were upended when Kenny Carr, 38, was shot and killed by a Spotsylvania County Sheriff’s Office deputy Sunday morning just after 3 a.m.
A release from the sheriff’s office alleged that Kenny Carr was pointing a firearm at his wife during a domestic disturbance. The release does not name the deputy who shot Carr, a Marine Corps veteran and active member of the Army Reserves.
Kenny Carr (right) was shot and killed by a Spotsylvania County deputy Sunday morning. (photo courtesy of Devin Carr)
Devin Carr said in an interview with the Free Press that the single shot came from outside the basement window — and without warning.
Spotsylvania Sheriff’s Office Maj. Troy Skebo said authorities will not comment on the incident because it is pending investigation, which is being assisted by the Virginia State Police Bureau of Criminal Investigation. The deputy has been placed on administrative leave.
Devin Carr said she’s hired an attorney who will seek body camera footage. The Free Press requested the recording of the 911 call that led to the deputies being dispatched, as well as body camera footage via the Virginia Freedom of Information Act.
Both requests were denied.
“We will give the media a full and transparent statement at the conclusion of the investigation,” Skebo said.
Devin Carr said her husband returned home Sunday morning from a night out drinking with friends in Richmond. She said Kenny Carr was typically quiet, shy and reserved, but that earlier this year, he began to become louder than normal, especially after consuming alcohol. She believes the change in behavior was the result of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) stemming from a tour of duty in Iraq, but noted that he was never diagnosed with the condition.
On that Sunday morning, Devin Carr said her husband was so loud she was concerned he would wake up their son and his friend, who was visiting.
“I came downstairs and saw him in the kitchen and he was really loud,” Devin Carr said. “I was like, ‘Were you drinking, and he was like, ‘Yeah, I had a good time. I had a good time.’ I’m like, ‘Calm your voice. You’re being so loud … and he was going on and on about how he had a good time, but his voice was not getting any lower. I said to myself, ‘I don’t think he knows that he is screaming at this point.’”
The couple went upstairs, and Kenny Carr continued to raise his voice. Devin Carr returned downstairs with hopes that her husband would fall asleep, but instead, he later sought after her. They continued the conversation standing a few feet apart in the basement theater room when suddenly, Devin Carr recalls glass shattering and Spotsylvania deputies quickly grabbing her and escorting her from the scene.
Devin Carr said the deputy fired a single shot that she believes struck her husband in the head. He died at the scene. She said her lawyer advised her not to discuss the possibility Kenny Carr pointed a gun at her.
The couple was not aware of anyone calling 911.
According to the sheriff’s office, deputies attempted to render aid to Kenny Carr until emergency personnel arrived. Devin Carr, who was not injured, said she is unsure if that is true because she was grabbed and whisked away almost immediately by deputies.
“I saw blood running out of his head, so I don’t know how they thought they were going to get him back if it was in the head,” Devin Carr said.
Devin Carr said she and her attorney are concerned because the shot came from outside the home and deputies did not announce their presence. She said the children were escorted out of the home before the fatal shot, while she and Kenny Carr were oblivious to the fact deputies had entered.
Devin Carr said it is difficult to process that her husband never knew what happened to him.
“Regardless of if we were arguing, regardless of if my husband was moving his hands or whatever he was doing, that does not give a reason for my husband to be shot through the window,” Devin Carr said. “Everybody, when they ask these questions, I feel like the questions are trying to justify the shooting. No, it’s not a reason to justify the shooting because you could’ve announced yourself. You could’ve thrown a smoke bomb to fog up the room. You were in my house. You could’ve tased him.”
Devin Carr said what happened Sunday morning does not define her husband. The couple met in Mississippi as eighth graders after she moved from Florida, and he relocated from Illinois. They attended different high schools but were in a relationship and married 17 years ago. She said they were a “good team” when it came to parenting, finances and achieving goals.
The couple encouraged each other to earn master’s degrees (Kenny Carr earned two). He used his master’s in human resources to secure his position in HR at Fort Belvoir. Devin Carr works as a case worker for the homeless population in Washington, D.C. and at a call center for the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
She said her husband was the lenient parent who allowed their daughter to call him “bro” and tell him about crushes she had on boys, while she’s much stricter.
“I think maybe I would feel better in this situation if my husband was mean, I was going through so much with him or I was in a domestic violence relationship,” Devin Carr said. “I think I would say, ‘Maybe God knew I needed a break.’ But my husband was so good to me. We were best friends.”
Devin Carr said her husband’s family, including his mother, father and twin sister, are all devastated by his death. She said she has never been alone since Sunday, surrounded by both family members and Kenny Carr’s Marine Corps and Army friends, many of whom have visited from hours away.
There will be two funeral services — one in Fredericksburg and another next Saturday in Mississippi. She said the couple planned to go out of town on the date of the second service.
“I’m not coping. That is why my eyes look like this,” she said. “I am really struggling. I am going to get therapy because I wasn’t expecting this to be my new norm.”
