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Stafford Sheriff’s Office releases limerick incident report

by | May 12, 2024 | ALLFFP, Police and Fire, Stafford

Courtesy of the Stafford County Sheriff’s Office, May 12:

ASSAULT Coastal Avenue, 5/10, 9:50 p.m.  Residents on Coastal Avenue heard something exciting, They looked outside to see juveniles fighting. When the blue lights arrived, The kids tried to hide, But charges are pending at the time of this writing.  

H.H. Poole Middle School, 5/10, 2:29 p.m. Two students were in a heated argument, To the assault Deputy Phillips was sent. They both punched the other, Prompting a call to each mother, And the school will handle the punishment.  

DUI Greenbank Road, 5/10, 7:20 a.m. Deputy Sullivan was dispatched to a call with suspense, An intoxicated man drove, clearly no common sense, He was soon placed in jail, Surprise- there was no bail, For this was the man’s third offense.  

FRAUD Saddle Ridge Lane, 5/10, 1:39 p.m. For dog sitting the victim was to be paid an amount, She received a check drawn on the suspect’s account, Its not at all funny, The account had no money, Deputy Cordes will be sure justice for the victim is paramount.  

Oak Road, 5/11, 12:33 p.m. A resident called in a stress, A strange charge on her American Express! Our Best Buy is closed, But online her account was exposed, Now we’ll have to see if a suspect will confess.  

HIT AND RUN Target, 25 S Gateway Drive, 5/10, 12:44 a.m. A victim called with a serous gripe, His truck damaged by a sudden side swipe. We can’t find an eyewitness, So we’ll check video of the business, And possibly release a daguerreotype.  

Wellspring Drive, 5/11, 11:25 p.m. From their homes the neighbors did dash, When from the street they heard a loud crash, A black sedan didn’t care, Leaving marijuana smoke in the air, As he fled the damaged mailbox with his stash.  

LARCENY Bethel Baptist Church, 5/10, 1:10 p.m. For a low down thief there is now quite a search, Deputy Curtis learned of a theft from the church, This sinner is not forsaken, Though a $1,500 check was taken, On his record, the offender can expect quite a smirch! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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